solrosan: (Default)
[personal profile] solrosan
Notes: A ficlet in the Eating us Alive verse that I wrote about a year ago for [livejournal.com profile] kidloki. I got the idea from a bulimia-survivor blog, and I'd say this takes place around the time of John's last forum posts.

Summary: John writes 'You're beautiful.' on a yellow Post-it and sticks it on the bathroom mirror because, well, why not?


-x-

John wrote ‘You’re beautiful.’ on a yellow Post-it and put it up on the bathroom mirror.

It had taken time to decide what to write. Was it best to use a contraction or not, to end with an exclamation mark or a full stop, to use a general statement or a personal message? In the end he had realised that none of that mattered.

He wasn’t completely sure why he did this, but he had most likely read something about positive thinking somewhere. Probably not in a medical journal, but in one of the magazines that migrated from the patients’ waiting room to the break room. He wouldn’t say he was desperate and would try anything, because he wasn’t and he wouldn’t. This was more of a ‘why not’-thing.

With a smile he made sure the note had really stuck to the mirror before he left the bathroom.

-x-

John wasn’t surprised that the note was gone when he got back from work. He just wrote ‘You’re beautiful.’ on new Post-it and put it on the mirror.

-x-

They went through three to five notes per day – each with the same thing written on it – but neither of them mentioned it. John put up the notes when he walked into the bathroom. Sherlock took them down as soon as he saw them.

When John came home from work on the eighth day the yellow Post-it was gone, as usual, but there was a green Post-it on the mirror instead.

It said: ’You’re annoying.’

John smiled, took it down, and wrote ‘You’re beautiful.’ on new yellow Post-it.

-x-

’You’re annoying.’ became ’You’re really annoying.’ in less than two days. John found it highly amusing, but he got worried when Sherlock went back to just taking down the notes after about a week.

It felt odd being more stubborn than Sherlock for once.

-x-

Another 174 yellow Post-its later John was greeted with a new green one.

Sherlock had written ’Are you hitting on me?’ on it.

John chuckled. It was very hard to stick to ‘You’re beautiful.’ and not write ’We already share a bed.’ or something equally silly.

-x-

Sherlock didn’t take down the 628th Post-it. It stayed up for two days before the steam from the shower made it fall down into the sink.

John put up number 629 and Sherlock removed it less than an hour later.

-x-

’I’m not doing it because I think I’m fat.’ the green Post-it said one day when John was getting ready for bed.

A breath got stuck in his throat and he hesitated for a moment before taking down the note. John thumbed it, turning it around to see if there was anything else written on it. It was a Why, or a hint of one at least.

John folded the note carefully and put it in his wallet, next to the pictures of his parents. With slightly shaking hands he then wrote ‘You’re beautiful.’ on a new Post-it.

It was still there when he got up the next morning.

-x-

Sherlock went back to calling John annoying on 53 Post-its before he finally caved and called him an idiot. A strange warmth spread through John as he read the note and decided to keep that one as well.

-x-

John found a box with 1062 yellow Post-its with the text ‘You’re beautiful.’ written on them when he hung up Sherlock’s dry-cleaning one day.

He went straight to the bathroom and wrote number 1063 and this time he used an exclamation mark.

Date: 2013-07-28 02:38 pm (UTC)
swissmarg: Mrs Hudson (Default)
From: [personal profile] swissmarg
That was lovely!

Date: 2013-07-28 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zedille.livejournal.com
edit: SORRY I HIT THE WRONG REPLY BUTTON *hides* but anyway yes I agree this was lovely!
Edited Date: 2013-07-28 04:11 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-07-28 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solrosan.livejournal.com
Thank you so much :)

Date: 2013-07-28 03:39 pm (UTC)
frozen_delight: (domestic bliss)
From: [personal profile] frozen_delight
I love this series so much - thank you for another splendid little update! I like how it's not about Sherlock having a distorted picture of his own looks like an anorexic teenage girl but how he still needs John's love and appreciation and keeps the notes all the same.

Sherlock went back to calling John annoying on 53 Post-its before he finally caved and called him an idiot. A strange warmth spread through John as he read the note and decided to keep that one as well.
You understand their relationship so well! I'm all smiles and happiness now.

Date: 2013-07-28 05:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solrosan.livejournal.com
Thank you for saying so! :D :D I love the relationship they have in this series, it's the most intimate I've manage to write them, so I'm happy that you enjoy it.

Eating disorders are so much more than what the general public seem to think it is (e.g. teenage girls wanting to be thin) and the goal of this series has never been to widen people's view on the disorder(s) but if it does it's a fortunate side effect :)

Date: 2013-07-28 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zedille.livejournal.com
I love the sense of progression through this story -- that eventually we do get to see that Sherlock kept all the post-its. That buildup of seeing all of John's reactions, and his always sticking to the same routine despite his comments, and then finally changing that little exclamation mark, such a little thing that means so much -- it all felt really satisfying ♥

Date: 2013-07-28 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solrosan.livejournal.com
Wow... you really do say the sweetest things ever about my writing sometimes :) Thank you, this comment means about the world to me ♥♥ back at you!

Date: 2013-07-28 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theanniemal.livejournal.com
det gjorde ont men den var också fantastisk. ska nu läsa hela serien en gång till :D

Date: 2013-07-28 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solrosan.livejournal.com
Tack ska du ha :D Det är alltid en lika märklig känsla att bli glad av att lyckas gör illa någon... ;)

Happy reading! (för man kan inte säga det bra på svenska..)

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