solrosan

Not all that long ago I wrote one of those bitter posts about hits and kudos and comments (you know the type) and because of that I just want to say that I'm having the complete opposite feeling right now.

In the last five days I've posted three fics (I've only written one during this time, the other were just waiting for a last read-over and a title). I can't tell you how many times I've checked my AO3 dash during this time, but I can tell you that I've been happy (almost giddy) every time I did. There has been 0 influx in the numbers of hits, kudos or comments I receive, but damn it if I'm not just so satisfied and content with things as they are right now.

This isn't because I'm somehow better at not comparing myself with others right now or whatever. (Because I'm an idiot and recently did just this...) This is just... how it is! This has been a good few days in fandom for me, and I thought I should write that down so that I'll remember it when I reach another down.

Also, just because I can, here are my three first fics of 2020!

bombs and pets and the things in between (Kingsman, James Bond (Craig movies), Eggsy/Q, Teen and up)
The first time they meet is ordinary. As is the second, the third, the fourth… Actually, so are most of them. Most of the times they meet are ordinary even if so many other things in their lives are not. Except it isn’t ordinary, because it’s them.

The Civilian Who Loves Me (Kingsman, Eggsy/Jamal, Teen and up)
It's not easy living with a civilian, ask Eggsy. He knows all too well how it feels having to go home to a partner time and time again and try to come up with new believable, reasons why a tailor has to leave the country on two hours notice. Luckily, Merlin knows it's not a walk in the park to live with a Kingsman agent either, and he has ideas on how to help out.

Love Leaves a Memory (Black Sails, James/Thomas(/Miranda), Teen and up)
James' first night at the plantation, Thomas asks about Miranda. It takes months for James to tell him everything.

Why are you in the fandom(s) that you're currently active in? What makes you participate in some fandoms but not others? 

If I'm to explain why I'm in the fandoms I am I can give pretty straight forward answers.

Sherlock -- I loved the show when I watched it, then when I discovered fandom about 6 months later my life was a mess and in finding fandom I also found a word to describe myself that I had searched for for a long time. The Sherlock fandom filled a gaping hole in my life. The Sherlock fandom gave me a purpose for many years. I cannot overstate the importance of the Sherlock fandom and the timing in my life.
 
MCU -- I've always been a casual fan of superheroes (and I mean all of them, though I'm growing tired of Spiderman so fast it's not even funny) but then Clint Barton, one of my best fandom friend's fav, turned out to have kids and Natasha was an integrated part of that family. It wasn't until I had written a few thousand words about it that I realised that the reason I probably got this invested this fast is because that's the relationship structure I want. I want to be Natasha to the Bartons.

Kingsman -- Do you have any idea how much fun it is to actually know stuff in a fandom? Like really know it? Without research? You know how fucking rare that is for people not from the UK or US? Any idea how much more fun that makes it? Honestly, I just came here to write some meta to help people who might want to write somewhat accurate fics about Eggsy as a prince of Sweden, but I realised that I was about the only one who wanted to do that and it was too much fun to be able to use just being fucking Swedish and knowing shit about Swedish royal history to not stick around.

But then when I turn it around.... why NOT this or that fandom, then it gets harder.

For example, I love Criminal Minds. Always have. From first episode to latest episode. The way that show get my heart raising. The way I'm on the edge of my metaphorical seat sometimes. The way I care for a lot of the characters. It evokes an emotional response in me that not even Sherlock has managed. I have never cried watching Sherlock, but I have cried a lot to Criminal Minds.

The West Wing? Sure, I had no idea what fandom was when I first watched it, but nope.

Fröken Fridmans Krig? It's in Swedish, so I think that might be the reason?

Star Trek (AOS)? The first movie gave my first OTP. I adore Spock and Uhura together. The first movie got me buying a TOS box, I was invested enough to throw money at the franchise... but the fandom? No. For some reason. It's not like it's because the fandom at large is against my OTP, I have a tendency to be drawn to women who break up popular mlm ships... Mary Morstan, Laura Barton, Princess Tilde, Nyota Uhura... So there's obviously something else.

Good Omens? My latest binge, because Tumblr, lbr. I love this fandom. They seem to have so much fun! And I love watching it from afar. I've even read two fics (old Sherlock authors coming back to play and I have missed their writing so much) but I have no interest what so ever to engage.

So... why are you in the fandoms you're in? Or why aren't you in the ones you aren't?