Five things Sherlock taught Daniel
Oct. 25th, 2011 09:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
solrosanNotes: I wrote this some time ago and then I got caught up in writing Eating us alive; that series took too much of my time and strength so Daniel was placed in the shadow for a while. Now he’s back though. Most of the instructions I’ve got from youtube ;)
Summary: Five things Sherlock taught his son, starting when Daniel was five and ending when he is sixteen.
Acknowledgement: I was lucky to once again have![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mygoldenbuttons as my beta. Thank you.
More in this verse here.
***
Tie shoelaces
“Look here,” Sherlock was on his knees on the kitchen floor and tugged his five-year-old son’s shoelaces. He tilted his head and tried to find the boy’s deep blue eyes, “Daniel, look here.”
Daniel mimicked his head movement and smiled.
“Okay?” Sherlock also smiled, “Are you looking closely?”
Daniel nodded and Sherlock placed his son’s football boot on the top of his knee for stability. Then he slowly took the neon yellow shoelaces and tied a knot while describing everything he did.
“You make a cross, then you go under…and then you pull! Do you want to try?”
Daniel nodded and Sherlock undid the loose knot, handing the laces to the boy. There was a disproportional amount of nervousness in his chest as the boy’s short fingers gripped the laces.
“Make a cross. Good.”
Daniel didn’t just cross the laces but also his arms before letting go. It was the cutest thing Sherlock had ever seen.
“Pick them up again,” Sherlock handed the laces back to Daniel, “Now take this end and pull it under, into the hole. No, here, look. Yes. Good.”
He took back the laces from Daniel – or rather, he picked them up again since Daniel once again dropped them at the word ‘good’ – and made a loop, holding it tightly to show it properly.
“See, you make a loop. A big one, okay?”
Daniel nodded.
“Good. Then you take the other lace and you make it go around the loop and into the hole. But not all the way through…you see how I make a new loop?”
Daniel nodded again; Sherlock was not convinced but continued anyway.
“Then you just…tug it a little and there you have it,” He let go of the shoelaces and smiled at Daniel who looked amazed, “Do you want to try?”
Daniel’s answer was to undo the knot; well at least he knew how to do that.
“Okay. Remember what to do first?”
“Cross!” Daniel announced and did just this.
“And then?”
Daniel wrinkled his forehead in deep concentration and actually managed to tie a knot. Sherlock thought he was going to burst with pride.
“Good, and then?”
“A bow,” Daniel said, still looking focused and determined when he picked up the laces again. His short, and childishly clumsy, fingers managed a bow. That was the easy part. Sherlock held his breath.
“Around….” He instructed in a low voice, “And then in under…. No, it’s okay. We try it again. Bow….”
After three failed attempts – Sherlock showed how it was done yet another time – Sherlock decided to try a different thing. He had promised himself to teach Daniel how to tie his shoes properly, not that silly bunny-ear-thing, but desperate times….
“Okay Daniel, we’ll try a different thing, okay?” Sherlock removed Daniel’s hands from the shoelaces and met his eyes. Daniel nodded.
“Start the same way, cross and under,” Sherlock showed again, “Then you make a loop and then you make another loop, so you’ll have two loops. See, two loops.”
Sherlock wiggled the loops and Daniel seemed once again hypnotised by the magic his hands were performing with the laces. “Then you just do the same thing as before, cross…and under…and then you got a bow.”
This time he didn’t have to ask, Daniel took the laces from him and undid the knot, eager to try this simpler way to do it. Sherlock watched in silence as the first attempt failed, but it was so close. Sherlock felt exited.
“Try it again,” he encouraged and Daniel did just that. Sherlock murmured the instructions under his breath and when Daniel was successful Sherlock raised his arms in victory. “Yes!”
Daniel clapped his hands, beaming with almost as much pride as Sherlock.
“Should we try the other one too?” Sherlock suggested and Daniel nodded happily, so Sherlock placed the other boot on his knee and handed Daniel the lances.
This time Daniel murmured the instructions to himself and Sherlock just nodded along. It worked perfectly! Daniel clapped his hands again and Sherlock pressed a kiss on his son’s forehead.
“Good boy,” he said, “I promise I’ll tie your laces all the time as long as you do exactly like this when your with mum okay?”
“Okay,” Daniel nodded.
“Promise?”
“Pinky!” Daniel said with a big smile and wiggled his finger in Sherlock’s face.
Sherlock hooked his own little finger in Daniel’s even smaller one. It was a ridiculous way to make a promise; he’d thought so even when he was a child. Joyce had an annoying way of filling their son’s head with social nonsense like this, but who was he to deprive Daniel of childish silliness like this? The least he could do was to give him proper shoes with proper laces, even if Joyce had demanded his head on a platter for the stupidity of buying football boots without Velcro.
Daniel jumped up from the chair and ran around in Sherlock’s small student flat, the studs probably ruining the floor. Sherlock knew absolutely nothing about football, but at least he had been able to teach Daniel how to tie his shoes properly.
Use a fire extinguisher
“Do you know how to use one of these?” Sherlock asked when Joyce had dropped Daniel off and before he had got the time to pick out the Disney film he was going to torment Sherlock with tonight.
“You press it and it shoots water on the fire?” Daniel guessed and climbed up on a chair at the kitchen table.
“Almost,” Sherlock said and placed the fire extinguisher on the table, “This is a dry chemical extinguisher so it doesn’t shoot water.”
“What does it shoot then?”
“Monoammonium phosphate,” Sherlock said before realising that an eight-year-old wouldn’t know what that was. Daniel nodded though, probably filing it away under ‘funny-sounding-things-dad-says’, “A white-yellowish powder.”
“Like baking powder?”
“Something like that, but baking powder often contains an alkaline, an acid salt and an-” Sherlock stopped himself at his son’s glare.
“Sometimes it’s like you don’t speak English dad,” Daniel told him and tilted his head.
“It’s English,” Sherlock promised.
“It’s like Parseltongue, only you don’t sound like a snake.” Daniel shrugged and now it was Sherlock who didn’t understand what was said. “Why doesn’t it shoot water?”
“Because water is only useful on organic solids.”
Daniel hisses and stuck out his tongue over and over again like a snake. Sherlock laughed, he had been in the lab for too long again.
“I’m sorry, but you should learn this,” Sherlock said, “Water should only be used on wood or papers or fabric and so on.”
“Why?”
“Because if you put water on say electronics, you can get electrocuted,” Sherlock had the feeling that that was easier than going into what could happen if you put water on a chemical fire. This was the reason he had bought the extinguisher in the first place though.
“Why?”
“Because….” Sherlock started, but stopped with a small pout, “I can’t explain that without sounding like a snake.”
“Why?”
Sherlock sighed mentally. A long time ago he had promised himself to always answer Daniel properly and never hide things behind dumb-down childish versions of the truth or the reality, because he couldn’t let him grow up to be as stupid as the rest of the world. Joyce worked against him though, filling Daniel’s head with the most stupid things like magic and cartoons and nursery rhymes. It was very tempting from time to time to give in to it too, or fall back on ‘because I say so’.
“Because there is no simple way to explain it,” Sherlock claimed and before Daniel got the chance to ask why again he continued, “But you should really know how to use this.”
“Why?”
“Remember what happened last year when dad took some work home?” Sherlock asked and gently poked the white scar on Daniel’s upper lip, “I’m going to do another project at home for a while, so you need to be able to use this. Just in case.”
“Are you going to make something explode?” Daniel’s eyes grew big with excitement and he spread his arms wide while making explosion noises.
“Hopefully not,” Sherlock smiled, “And definitely not when you’re here.”
“Why?”
“Because mum would have me lynched,” and he would probably let her if something happened to Daniel. “But come, let’s go out and I’ll show you how to use this…. And then I can make a small explosion.”
Daniel grinned and ran to put his shoes on. Sherlock got a worried feeling in his gut, had he promised something stupid now? Probably. At least both of them would be able to put out a fire after this. Well, hopefully they wouldn’t need to. And hopefully Daniel wouldn’t tell Joyce about any of this.
“Don’t forget your beanie,” Sherlock told his son and waved the blue knitted cap in front of him. Daniel jumped to get it and Sherlock tousled his blond hair before it disappeared under the beanie.
They went outside, to a backstreet behind the tenement in which Sherlock lived at the moment. Sherlock didn’t like this area but he really couldn’t do better right now. He would never dream of letting Daniel out alone but one very big advantage though was that he would be able to light a small fire in the street without anyone really caring.
When they had gathered enough litter and random rubbish to have something to put out later Sherlock crouched down to be on the same level as Daniel.
“You see this?” Sherlock wondered and pointed at the pressure gauge, “This shows the pressure inside and you see the little needle? It should be on green, I’ll make sure that the ones I have at home are alright, but if you should ever use one somewhere else you need to check it. Okay?”
“Needle on green,” Daniel repeated, “Why?”
“It won’t work if the pressure isn’t high enough,” Sherlock explained, “The pressure inside is higher than the pressure outside so when you open it, the contents will shoot out. Like what happens when you shake a soda can before opening it.”
“Mum says I’m not allowed to do that.”
“No, you should not do that; it’s a waste of soda,” Sherlock smiled, “When you have checked the gauge, you should make sure the tube and the hose and the seal are all intact.”
“Dad.” Daniel interrupted as if he had spotted something his father had got wrong.
“Yes?”
“If there’s a fire, wouldn’t that be a waste of time?”
Sherlock smiled, that could seem like a valid point, “If it’s broken it won’t work properly and then it’s better to get out and call the fire service. Again, I’ll make sure that the ones I have always work so you don’t have to worry about that, but if there’s a lot of smoke you have to run out. Always, okay?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” Sherlock nodded and smiled, he hated to think about Daniel in any type of dangerous situation, even if it was just hypothetical. “So if there’s a fire, you start with releasing the hose. Then you pull the pin that locks the handle…. Try to press it down when the pin is in.”
He turned the extinguisher so Daniel could take the handle. The boy’s small hand tried to squeeze down the handle and when it didn’t work he tried with both. Still it didn’t work and Sherlock was pleased; point made.
“No no no, don’t pull the pin yet,” Sherlock said and stopped Daniel’s hand, “We don’t have a fire to put out yet.”
That made Daniel disturbingly calm, his precious little prankster. Well, Sherlock wasn’t the one to judge really.
“When you aim at the fire, you should aim at the base, not the flames. Then you sweep,” Sherlock showed the sweeping movement with the hose and handed everything over to Daniel, “Are you ready?”
“Yes!” The boy’s voice bubbled over with excitement so Sherlock felt the need to say:
“Fires are bad.”
Not two minutes later a small fire was burning in the street. It could have been a perfect opportunity to teach Daniel how to make a fire as well, but that really didn’t seem like something an eight-year-old needed to know. At least not one that was ping-ponged between two flats in London.
“Now you can try to put it out,” Sherlock said, backing away from the fire. “Remember, pull the pin, aim for the base, squeeze the handle and sweep all over…and keep squeezing until nothing more is coming out. Okay? Are you ready?”
As an answer to that, Daniel pulled the pin and pressed down the handle but the shock of the smoke that puffed out made him let go.
“That’s not what I said you should do,” Sherlock said as he swallowed a chuckle, “Do it again.”
Daniel looked very determined when he lifted the small hose again and aimed it at the fire – not the base maybe, but Sherlock let it go – and squeezed the handle. A cloud of white-yellowish smoke shot out and Daniel happily spread it everywhere. It might not have been the most efficient way to do it, but it put the fire out and at least he knew how it worked now.
“Did you see dad?” Daniel was two seconds away from jumping up and down, clapping his hands.
“I saw that. You’re like a real fire-fighter, ” Sherlock smiled and looked at the mess they had made. They should go inside before anyone saw them. “Come, let’s go and buy some gummi bears and I’ll show you how to make a little fireworks.”
He didn’t have to say that twice.
(The experiment)
Shave
“This is the razor,” Sherlock said, holding up a brand new three-blade-razor. Daniel gave his father a demeaning glare before pointing at the sink.
“This is the sink,” he said over explicitly, “This is the mirror. This is called a towel.”
“Point taken, sorry,” Sherlock handed Daniel the razor with a smirk, there was a special kind of affection that filled him every time Daniel called him on bullshit.
“First you should wet your face with hot water,” Sherlock said, but Daniel just kept looking at him as if he was an idiot, “It opens your pores.”
“Do you want me to do it now?” Daniel sounded doubtful.
“Yes.”
With a sigh, Daniel turned on the tap and splashed some water in his face – half of it seemed to miss his face and end up either on his chest or on the floor. Sherlock gave him an unimpressed glare.
“Tada!” Daniel said, water dripping from him.
“You think that’s a good way to do it?” Sherlock wondered before he bent over the sink and washed his face with the hot water, “I usually do this after I shower, it saves time and then you really know that you have wet it properly.”
“I don’t have time to do it in the mornings,” Daniel said and shook his head.
“You’re a reluctant little thing, aren’t you?” Sherlock smirked, “And I know for a fact you have practice four times a week so you can shave after that…. Or just skip masturbating in the shower on the mornings you need to shave.”
“Dad!” Daniel whined and looked completely tormented.
“Just be grateful you don’t have to have the ‘this is how you use a tampon’-talk with your mother.” Sherlock said matter-of-fact.
Daniel looked horrified by the mere thought and reached for the razor to show he had surrendered to the shaving lesson.
“Put that down,” Sherlock shook his head with a smile and actually took the razor from his son, “Heard of shaving cream?”
“Yes,” Daniel sighed, “Are you going to tell me all about the active ingredients anyway?”
“No, but I think you should use this one since we have the same type of skin,” Sherlock handed him a shaving cream and got a surprised sound as response, “What?”
“I always thought you used one of those brushes and gadgets and things.”
“Disappointed?”
“Relived,” Daniel admitted and removed the cap, “How much?”
“Judging by your enormous amount of facial hair I would say…not much,” Sherlock smirked and stole half of the shaving cream Daniel had put in his hand. “Then you just apply it. Circular movements. Yes something like that…and don’t forget your neck.”
Daniel giggled at the sight of the two of them with shaving cream beards in the mirror. Sherlock also smiled, but more because of the absurdity that he was teaching his son how to shave and not because it looked amusing. It felt like only yesterday he himself had learnt how to change diapers.
On a whim, Sherlock took some of the shaving cream Daniel had applied too high up on his cheek bone and dotted it on his nose instead.
“Peh!” Daniel stopped giggling and took revenge in the same manner. Sherlock smirked and didn’t bother to wipe it off. Instead he handed Daniel the razor for the second time and picked up his own.
“Ready?”
“Since, like, yesterday.”
“Don’t be cocky,” Sherlock said and placed his razor on his cheek, “Start at the top and go downwards. Never the opposite direction. Yes…like that, don’t apply too much pressure. And then oh…well…. The environmentalists – like your mother – will say that you should fill the sink with water and clean the razor, but running water works just as well. ”
Daniel smirked at the comment and Sherlock stopped his own shaving for a moment to watch Daniel’s tentative strokes. The concentration, the focus. It was endearing.
“Then take the other side,” Sherlock instructed when he could tear his eyes away and actually finish his own cheeks. “Then…now…stretch the skin on your neck with your hand like this…. And shave slowly.”
“This is a bit scary,” Daniel admitted after taking the first stroke on his neck and, even though Sherlock knew better, he had to agree, it was a bit scary to have razorblades that close to Daniel’s carotid artery.
“You have to be incredibly skilled to really harm yourself with a razor like this,” Sherlock said, putting the ridiculous thoughts out of his mind.
“I know,” Daniel said and took another stroke, “Still….”
To the surprise of no one, Sherlock finished first but soon they both just had a shaving cream moustache and goatee. It generated the same type of giggle from Daniel as the shaving cream beard had done.
“If you ever come here with a goatee I’ll disown you,” Sherlock informed with a smirk, “The same goes for tattoos.”
“Can I have a piercing?”
“Depends on where you put it,” Sherlock said after a moment of thought, “If mum agrees. So the lips and chin…. They’re the parts I think are the hardest, but you just contort your lips” – Sherlock showed by curling his lips over his teeth – “and then you just…shave. Carefully. And though there’s no excuse for nose hair, never try to get it with a razor.”
“Are you sure you and John aren’t gay for each other?” Daniel smirked. Sherlock nudged him gently in the shoulder, checking that the razor wasn’t anywhere near Daniel’s face.
“Just shave.”
Daniel had a problem obeying because it was very hard to stretch the skin around your lips when you couldn’t stop giggling. Consequently, he managed to nick himself under his bottom lip. Sherlock was just cleaning his razor for the last time and the sight of blood on Daniel’s face raised his heartbeat, but he didn’t let it show. It was ridiculous really, he had no problem with blood in general, but when it was Daniel’s blood things were just…different. Even though this was the most superficial little cut ever, not even close to when the broken Erlenmeyer had cut his upper lip open when he was seven. Still, it was blood on Daniel and Daniel should not be bleeding.
Daniel looked a bit irresolute, which made it easier for Sherlock to be resolute.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sherlock said with a smile, “Just finish, you have practically nothing left and then you wash your face and we put some paper on it.”
Daniel did as he was told. Sherlock let him wash his face and then he used one of the terry towels Daniel had pointed out in the very beginning to pat his face dry.
“Daaaaaad,” Daniel whined, but it mostly came out as laughter, and he tried to take the towel from his father. Sherlock let him win with a smile and bent down over the sink to wash his own face.
“Last step,” Sherlock said when he also had a dry face, took hold of Daniels hand and gave him some aftershave before taking some himself and putting it on his face.
“It smells like you,” Daniel said after sniffing it.
“How very peculiar,” Sherlock smirked, “You could get a different one if it’s a bit too weird for you to smell like your dad, but you should really use one. You know how dry your skin tends to become.”
“Gay, gay, gay, gay….” Daniel murmured as he too put the aftershave on, making a face when some of it came into the cut.
“Yes, you really shouldn’t cut yourself,” Sherlock shook his head and handed him a small piece of toilet paper.
“Is this like when you told me to not fall down on turf because it would burn my knees?” Daniel wanted to know as he applied the small piece of paper.
“Something very much like that,” Sherlock said with a smile, “I’m going to take a picture and send it to your mum.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes I am, be still,” Sherlock told him as he got his phone out, “Leave the paper on.”
Daniel sighed, but allowed it to happen.
“Good, one last thing,” Sherlock remembered, “No two. Two last things. Before you wash up you should make sure that you haven’t missed something…but seeing that you have approximately five straws we skipped that now. Then finally, clean the sink.”
“It’s clean,” Daniel said after glancing down at it.
“What are you talking about?” Sherlock scolded gently and pointed at the splashes of shaving cream and hairs, “Mum will strangle the both of us if you get into the habit of leaving the sink like this.”
Daniel sighed and rolled his eyes, but cleaned up without another word; , looking at himself in the mirror as he did so.
“Yes, yes, you look very nice,” Sherlock assured him and Daniel blushed.
“I wasn’t-“
“Yes you were,” Sherlock teased and poked him on the shoulder. As confirmation, Daniel smiled embarrassed. “Well, all done.”
“Yeah,” Daniel gave himself a last look in the mirror and removed the paper – placing it on the newly cleaned sink, “Thanks.”
Sherlock gave him a smile in the mirror before Daniel left. With a small sigh he then tossed the bloody little paper in the toilet. Where had the time gone?
Pick a lock
“Why are we doing this?” Daniel was on his knees in front of John’s door being handed a torsion wrench by his father.
“Various reasons,” Sherlock said, dead serious, “Take the wrench.”
Daniel took the wrench and looked with suspicion at his father’s lock picking set which Sherlock closed as he too got down on his knees.
“Why do you even have that?” Daniel wondered.
“It’s work related,” Sherlock said, knowing perfectly well that it was just a half-truth.
“Is it even legal?”
“Yes, as long as you don’t carry it with the intent to do burglary,” Sherlock said while suppressing a smirk, he had told Lestrade that many times over the years.
“What other reasons are there?” Daniel asked in slight discomfort. Had there been anyone else asking these questions Sherlock would most certainly been annoyed, but since it was Daniel he was actually proud of the boy’s morals. Widely ignoring how keen Daniel had been when he had first asked if he wanted to learn how to pick a lock.
“Mostly very far-fetched ones, but intent is almost impossible to prove.” Sherlock smirked and then he added with a nod towards the door, “He’s taken my skull and I want it back.”
“Why?” Daniel didn’t sound as morally conflicted anymore, more curious into what could have made John do such a thing.
“I might have used one of his pillowcases when trying to filter bile.”
“That’s disgusting,” Daniel told him with a frown but without another word he inserted the wrench in the lock.
“You were easily persuaded all of a sudden,” Sherlock was amused and when he saw just how Daniel inserted the tool he added “And apparently a bit of a natural.”
“Shut up,” Daniel muttered low, but still he smiled, “We must free Tom, otherwise you might start to talk to me.”
“I’ve told you: that is not his name,” Sherlock said with annoyance, he had no idea what so ever why Daniel had decided to name the skull Tom.
“Whatever,” Daniel smirked the way he always did when he knew his dad didn’t keep up, “What do I do now?”
“Well that depends,” Sherlock said and opened his set again, “Do you want to use a pick, a paperclip or a hairpin?”
“A paperclip?” Daniel smiled, “Are you for real?”
“Very much so,” Sherlock said, once again failing to understand Daniel’s amusement.
“You’re like the lovechild of Marie Curie and MacGyver,” Daniel chuckled, “And then you grew up under a rock. I want the paperclip of course!”
Sherlock was almost sure that was an insult with pop cultural references, but if so, what was Marie Curie doing there? He decided to drop it and not even comment on the fact that Marie Curie had died more than 40 years before he was born. Instead he pulled out two paperclips and handed them to his son.
“Straighten both of these out,” Sherlock told him, “One of them you make a slight upward bend at the end and the other you make a few bends along the way. Like that, that’s enough. Then you’re all set. Any last minute moral issues?”
“No I’m good.”
“Splendid, let’s get started,” Sherlock got off his knees and seated himself with his back against the wall instead, turning his head so he could look at what his son was about to do, “First, feel with the wrench which way the lock turns. You’ll feel which way is the right one.”
“Left.”
“Yes, all the locks in this building open counter clockwise,” Sherlock informed, “Now take the clip with bends and stick it all the way in. No, leave the wrench still inside. Stick the clip in and then you pull out swiftly while pressing it upwards and at the same time gently turning the wrench as if you were unlocking in the door.”
Daniel did as he was told but without no visible result. Sherlock would have been very surprised if there had been one.
“If you’re lucky, that might have set some of the pins,” Sherlock told him when their eyes met for a moment, “Now you take the other clip and insert it in the lock with the spike up.”
“And the wrench should still be there?”
“Yes, all the time,” Sherlock confirmed, “Put some pressure on it and then try to feel the pins of the lock with the clip. There are five in this…and that’s the most common. Do you feel them?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“I think so too,” Sherlock nodded, “Start at the back, find the pin and push it up. You should feel a slight give when it’s in right position or you might actually hear it.”
Daniel was 100 % focused on what he did and his tongue was sticking out the corner of his mouth. Sherlock saw how Daniel’s eyes grew wide in surprise and excitement when the first pin went into place.
“Neat, isn’t it?” Sherlock smirked, “Increase the pressure on the wrench with ever pin you get in place.”
It took a good five minutes for Daniel to get all the pins and by the time he got the last one into its position the lock gave in under the pressure of the wrench and it turned. Daniel gasped with thrill.
“Fantastic!” Sherlock said and got on his feet, taking the picking set with him. “Good work.”
“That…was bloody brilliant!” Daniel still stared at the lock and pulled out both the wrench and the paperclip.
“Language,” Sherlock said and opened the door.
“We’re breaking into John’s room and you’re care about me swearing?”
“One is a skill, the other is a bad habit,” Sherlock pointed out. Daniel rolled his eyes and handed him the wrench. “Keep it, who knows when it can come in handy.”
“Tss….” Daniel shook his head, but pocketed the wrench and followed Sherlock into the room to search for the skull. Sherlock wondered if this made him a terrible father.
Tie a bowtie
“Dad!”
Frustrated beyond belief, Daniel entered the sitting-room. He was dressed in black trousers and an unbuttoned dress shirt. The braces were hanging by his sides which made the trousers slide down over his hips as he walked.
“What is this?” he demanded to know.
“A bowtie,” Sherlock answered and forced Daniel’s hand away from his face.
“I know it’s a bowtie!” Daniel almost screamed, “Why isn’t it tied?”
“What is…?” Sherlock didn’t see what made the teenager so upset, “Just tie it. You know how tie a bowtie, don’t you?”
“No!” Daniel said it as if it was the most moronic thing his father had ever said.
“But you have worn dinner jackets before,” Sherlock said confused.
“Mum always got me pre-tieds!”
“That’s ridiculous,” Sherlock stated with a huff, “You should know how to tie a bowtie…. You know how to tie a regular tie, don’t you?”
“This! This is ridiculous!” Daniel said upset and put the bowtie in his father’s face again, “I don’t have time for this!”
“Calm down,” Sherlock said and took the bowtie, “Go and get dressed and I’ll show you how to tie it after that.”
Daniel turned around and stomped out of the sitting room, slamming both the door to the sitting room and the door to Sherlock’s bedroom.
“Bit nervous, is he?” John wondered with an amused smile.
“A bit,” Sherlock looked at the closed door and smiled too.
In two hours Daniel was supposed to be at Southbank centre where he – and the rest of his orchestra – was going to perform tonight. Sherlock and Joyce had argued for about 15 minutes on the phone earlier this week about the logistics and if the time had come when they should stop renting and finally buy their son a dinner jacket. The result had been that Daniel should stay at Baker Street and Sherlock should rent a dinner jacket; in two years’ time it would probably be safe to buy one.
“Should we also get dressed?” John asked and Sherlock looked at the time on his computer.
“Yes, he’ll probably strangle us with this tie if we’re not done in time,” he got up from the desk and followed John out the sitting room.
He tapped the door to his bedroom with one knuckle.
“May I come in?”
Daniel opened the door, now properly dressed – minus the bowtie and the jacket – but looking a bit flushed.
“Did I get these right?” he asked showing his cufflinks – Sherlock’s cufflinks actually.
“Not many ways you can fail with cufflinks,” Sherlock told him with a smile and handed him the bowtie. “What do you want me to wear?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you want me to wear?” Sherlock repeated, “Should I also wear a dinner jacket or is a suit better? I know John’ll wear his black suit and probably some hideous cartoonish tie and mum’ll probably wear that blue dress that shows off her breasts and the necklace ‘you’ gave her last Christmas.”
“Your black two-button, white shirt, the grey tie, grey pocket handkerchief,” Daniel told him in a very firm and determined way. Sherlock tried to not let the smile transform into a smirk as he started to unbutton the purple shirt he was wearing.
“Lift your collar,” he told his son as he pulled the shirt out of his trousers.
“What?”
“For the bowtie,” Sherlock clarified, “Lift your collar and go in front of the mirror, you’ll need it.”
Daniel did as told and placed himself in front of the mirror; Sherlock noticed how his posture changed completely at the sight of himself in formal dress. He should really have a talk with Joyce, the boy needed more proper clothing, not just jeans.
“Place the tie around your neck but let one end hang a little lower than the other one,” he kept on instructing while taking out the clothes he’d been ordered to wear.
“Which one?” Daniel wondered, pulling the ends back and forth.
“Doesn’t matter, you’re going to work with the long end. I use the right side.”
“It’s that enough?”
Sherlock looked over and met Daniel’s eyes in the mirror before nodding, it looked fine. They had time to do this many times, “Button your last button before you start – yes I know it’s uncomfortable. Then you cross the short end with the long end and pull it up under…no, not like that. Like if you’re tying a regular knot. ”
“Like this?” Daniel sounded doubtful but Sherlock nodded and left his trousers unbuttoned to put on his shirt.
“Unfortunately that’s the easy part,” Sherlock said and walked up to the mirror, “Make sure it’s not too tight, you won’t be able to adjust it later.”
“What’s too tight?”
“Only you can judge that, but if you can’t breathe, then it’s too tight.”
“Ha ha ha,” Daniel glared at him and he smirked back, “Now what?”
“Fold the short one over itself so it actually looks like a bow. Yes, just like that,” Sherlock kept on instructing as he closed the last button on his shirt and stuffed it down his trousers, “Now you have to keep it there the rest of the time, so change it and hold it with your left hand.”
“Couldn’t you just have taken a pre-tied?” Daniel sighed.
“Every man should be able to tie a bowtie,” Sherlock huffed, almost insulted.
“Says the man who still doesn’t get how England can play Scotland!” Daniel laughed and dropped his grip on the knot. “Damn it.”
“Language.”
“Sorry.”
“I’ll think about it,” Sherlock smirked and reached for his own tie, “Pull the long end behind the bow so it hangs right over the knot. Like that, yes. Now, and this is the hard part…. I’ll show you, keep your hands where they are.”
Sherlock stepped behind Daniel and placed his own hands on top of his. Then he guided Daniel’s right hand so he could feel the hole in front of the knot, created by the bow and the free end.
“Do you feel this?” he asked, “Do you see it?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Then we take the very top of this end and we…pull it through,” Sherlock guided Daniel’s fingers as he gave instructions and then he let go. It looked terrible at the moment, but it held up, which was good. “Now just take the front and the back, just like that, and correct it…straighten it out. There you go. All done!”
Sherlock smiled in the mirror, it looked quite alright. No one would be ashamed with wearing that knot on stage.
“That wasn’t that bad,” Daniel said, still adjusting the bow a little; probably just because he knew he could.
“We can pull it out and you can do it again,” Sherlock suggested as he tied his own tie, but got a glare through the mirror, “Don’t worry, we have time.”
Daniel ignored him – he was far too good at that – and put on the jacket instead. “How do I look?”
“Like a waiter at a very posh restaurant,” Sherlock offered, “Just kidding, you look painfully grown up.”
Daniel’s back became a bit straighter and he looked pleased, “Going to go and see if I have everything I need.”
“Do that, the car Mycroft promised to send will be here in 20 minutes,” Sherlock turned to the mirror to make sure his own tie knot was okay and heard Daniel and John exchange some words in the hallway before John popped into the room.
“And what’s wrong with my tie?” John asked.
“So many things John, so many things,” Sherlock sighed, but kept on smiling as he put on a pair of cufflinks and started to fold the handkerchief.
“You figured out the bowtie?”
“Of course,” Sherlock put on the jacket along with one of those smiles that John only ever saw when Daniel was around, “He looks quite dashing, doesn’t he?”
“Actually, he looks a lot like you,” John said with a soft nod.
“You think I look dashing?” Sherlock chuckled.
“I didn’t say that,” John smirked, “but sure, you look pretty good.”
“You look okay too,” Sherlock said with a smile and gently pushed him out the door, “but please go and change to a one-colour tie before the car gets here.”
Summary: Five things Sherlock taught his son, starting when Daniel was five and ending when he is sixteen.
Acknowledgement: I was lucky to once again have
mygoldenbuttons as my beta. Thank you.More in this verse here.
***
Tie shoelaces
“Look here,” Sherlock was on his knees on the kitchen floor and tugged his five-year-old son’s shoelaces. He tilted his head and tried to find the boy’s deep blue eyes, “Daniel, look here.”
Daniel mimicked his head movement and smiled.
“Okay?” Sherlock also smiled, “Are you looking closely?”
Daniel nodded and Sherlock placed his son’s football boot on the top of his knee for stability. Then he slowly took the neon yellow shoelaces and tied a knot while describing everything he did.
“You make a cross, then you go under…and then you pull! Do you want to try?”
Daniel nodded and Sherlock undid the loose knot, handing the laces to the boy. There was a disproportional amount of nervousness in his chest as the boy’s short fingers gripped the laces.
“Make a cross. Good.”
Daniel didn’t just cross the laces but also his arms before letting go. It was the cutest thing Sherlock had ever seen.
“Pick them up again,” Sherlock handed the laces back to Daniel, “Now take this end and pull it under, into the hole. No, here, look. Yes. Good.”
He took back the laces from Daniel – or rather, he picked them up again since Daniel once again dropped them at the word ‘good’ – and made a loop, holding it tightly to show it properly.
“See, you make a loop. A big one, okay?”
Daniel nodded.
“Good. Then you take the other lace and you make it go around the loop and into the hole. But not all the way through…you see how I make a new loop?”
Daniel nodded again; Sherlock was not convinced but continued anyway.
“Then you just…tug it a little and there you have it,” He let go of the shoelaces and smiled at Daniel who looked amazed, “Do you want to try?”
Daniel’s answer was to undo the knot; well at least he knew how to do that.
“Okay. Remember what to do first?”
“Cross!” Daniel announced and did just this.
“And then?”
Daniel wrinkled his forehead in deep concentration and actually managed to tie a knot. Sherlock thought he was going to burst with pride.
“Good, and then?”
“A bow,” Daniel said, still looking focused and determined when he picked up the laces again. His short, and childishly clumsy, fingers managed a bow. That was the easy part. Sherlock held his breath.
“Around….” He instructed in a low voice, “And then in under…. No, it’s okay. We try it again. Bow….”
After three failed attempts – Sherlock showed how it was done yet another time – Sherlock decided to try a different thing. He had promised himself to teach Daniel how to tie his shoes properly, not that silly bunny-ear-thing, but desperate times….
“Okay Daniel, we’ll try a different thing, okay?” Sherlock removed Daniel’s hands from the shoelaces and met his eyes. Daniel nodded.
“Start the same way, cross and under,” Sherlock showed again, “Then you make a loop and then you make another loop, so you’ll have two loops. See, two loops.”
Sherlock wiggled the loops and Daniel seemed once again hypnotised by the magic his hands were performing with the laces. “Then you just do the same thing as before, cross…and under…and then you got a bow.”
This time he didn’t have to ask, Daniel took the laces from him and undid the knot, eager to try this simpler way to do it. Sherlock watched in silence as the first attempt failed, but it was so close. Sherlock felt exited.
“Try it again,” he encouraged and Daniel did just that. Sherlock murmured the instructions under his breath and when Daniel was successful Sherlock raised his arms in victory. “Yes!”
Daniel clapped his hands, beaming with almost as much pride as Sherlock.
“Should we try the other one too?” Sherlock suggested and Daniel nodded happily, so Sherlock placed the other boot on his knee and handed Daniel the lances.
This time Daniel murmured the instructions to himself and Sherlock just nodded along. It worked perfectly! Daniel clapped his hands again and Sherlock pressed a kiss on his son’s forehead.
“Good boy,” he said, “I promise I’ll tie your laces all the time as long as you do exactly like this when your with mum okay?”
“Okay,” Daniel nodded.
“Promise?”
“Pinky!” Daniel said with a big smile and wiggled his finger in Sherlock’s face.
Sherlock hooked his own little finger in Daniel’s even smaller one. It was a ridiculous way to make a promise; he’d thought so even when he was a child. Joyce had an annoying way of filling their son’s head with social nonsense like this, but who was he to deprive Daniel of childish silliness like this? The least he could do was to give him proper shoes with proper laces, even if Joyce had demanded his head on a platter for the stupidity of buying football boots without Velcro.
Daniel jumped up from the chair and ran around in Sherlock’s small student flat, the studs probably ruining the floor. Sherlock knew absolutely nothing about football, but at least he had been able to teach Daniel how to tie his shoes properly.
Use a fire extinguisher
“Do you know how to use one of these?” Sherlock asked when Joyce had dropped Daniel off and before he had got the time to pick out the Disney film he was going to torment Sherlock with tonight.
“You press it and it shoots water on the fire?” Daniel guessed and climbed up on a chair at the kitchen table.
“Almost,” Sherlock said and placed the fire extinguisher on the table, “This is a dry chemical extinguisher so it doesn’t shoot water.”
“What does it shoot then?”
“Monoammonium phosphate,” Sherlock said before realising that an eight-year-old wouldn’t know what that was. Daniel nodded though, probably filing it away under ‘funny-sounding-things-dad-says’, “A white-yellowish powder.”
“Like baking powder?”
“Something like that, but baking powder often contains an alkaline, an acid salt and an-” Sherlock stopped himself at his son’s glare.
“Sometimes it’s like you don’t speak English dad,” Daniel told him and tilted his head.
“It’s English,” Sherlock promised.
“It’s like Parseltongue, only you don’t sound like a snake.” Daniel shrugged and now it was Sherlock who didn’t understand what was said. “Why doesn’t it shoot water?”
“Because water is only useful on organic solids.”
Daniel hisses and stuck out his tongue over and over again like a snake. Sherlock laughed, he had been in the lab for too long again.
“I’m sorry, but you should learn this,” Sherlock said, “Water should only be used on wood or papers or fabric and so on.”
“Why?”
“Because if you put water on say electronics, you can get electrocuted,” Sherlock had the feeling that that was easier than going into what could happen if you put water on a chemical fire. This was the reason he had bought the extinguisher in the first place though.
“Why?”
“Because….” Sherlock started, but stopped with a small pout, “I can’t explain that without sounding like a snake.”
“Why?”
Sherlock sighed mentally. A long time ago he had promised himself to always answer Daniel properly and never hide things behind dumb-down childish versions of the truth or the reality, because he couldn’t let him grow up to be as stupid as the rest of the world. Joyce worked against him though, filling Daniel’s head with the most stupid things like magic and cartoons and nursery rhymes. It was very tempting from time to time to give in to it too, or fall back on ‘because I say so’.
“Because there is no simple way to explain it,” Sherlock claimed and before Daniel got the chance to ask why again he continued, “But you should really know how to use this.”
“Why?”
“Remember what happened last year when dad took some work home?” Sherlock asked and gently poked the white scar on Daniel’s upper lip, “I’m going to do another project at home for a while, so you need to be able to use this. Just in case.”
“Are you going to make something explode?” Daniel’s eyes grew big with excitement and he spread his arms wide while making explosion noises.
“Hopefully not,” Sherlock smiled, “And definitely not when you’re here.”
“Why?”
“Because mum would have me lynched,” and he would probably let her if something happened to Daniel. “But come, let’s go out and I’ll show you how to use this…. And then I can make a small explosion.”
Daniel grinned and ran to put his shoes on. Sherlock got a worried feeling in his gut, had he promised something stupid now? Probably. At least both of them would be able to put out a fire after this. Well, hopefully they wouldn’t need to. And hopefully Daniel wouldn’t tell Joyce about any of this.
“Don’t forget your beanie,” Sherlock told his son and waved the blue knitted cap in front of him. Daniel jumped to get it and Sherlock tousled his blond hair before it disappeared under the beanie.
They went outside, to a backstreet behind the tenement in which Sherlock lived at the moment. Sherlock didn’t like this area but he really couldn’t do better right now. He would never dream of letting Daniel out alone but one very big advantage though was that he would be able to light a small fire in the street without anyone really caring.
When they had gathered enough litter and random rubbish to have something to put out later Sherlock crouched down to be on the same level as Daniel.
“You see this?” Sherlock wondered and pointed at the pressure gauge, “This shows the pressure inside and you see the little needle? It should be on green, I’ll make sure that the ones I have at home are alright, but if you should ever use one somewhere else you need to check it. Okay?”
“Needle on green,” Daniel repeated, “Why?”
“It won’t work if the pressure isn’t high enough,” Sherlock explained, “The pressure inside is higher than the pressure outside so when you open it, the contents will shoot out. Like what happens when you shake a soda can before opening it.”
“Mum says I’m not allowed to do that.”
“No, you should not do that; it’s a waste of soda,” Sherlock smiled, “When you have checked the gauge, you should make sure the tube and the hose and the seal are all intact.”
“Dad.” Daniel interrupted as if he had spotted something his father had got wrong.
“Yes?”
“If there’s a fire, wouldn’t that be a waste of time?”
Sherlock smiled, that could seem like a valid point, “If it’s broken it won’t work properly and then it’s better to get out and call the fire service. Again, I’ll make sure that the ones I have always work so you don’t have to worry about that, but if there’s a lot of smoke you have to run out. Always, okay?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” Sherlock nodded and smiled, he hated to think about Daniel in any type of dangerous situation, even if it was just hypothetical. “So if there’s a fire, you start with releasing the hose. Then you pull the pin that locks the handle…. Try to press it down when the pin is in.”
He turned the extinguisher so Daniel could take the handle. The boy’s small hand tried to squeeze down the handle and when it didn’t work he tried with both. Still it didn’t work and Sherlock was pleased; point made.
“No no no, don’t pull the pin yet,” Sherlock said and stopped Daniel’s hand, “We don’t have a fire to put out yet.”
That made Daniel disturbingly calm, his precious little prankster. Well, Sherlock wasn’t the one to judge really.
“When you aim at the fire, you should aim at the base, not the flames. Then you sweep,” Sherlock showed the sweeping movement with the hose and handed everything over to Daniel, “Are you ready?”
“Yes!” The boy’s voice bubbled over with excitement so Sherlock felt the need to say:
“Fires are bad.”
Not two minutes later a small fire was burning in the street. It could have been a perfect opportunity to teach Daniel how to make a fire as well, but that really didn’t seem like something an eight-year-old needed to know. At least not one that was ping-ponged between two flats in London.
“Now you can try to put it out,” Sherlock said, backing away from the fire. “Remember, pull the pin, aim for the base, squeeze the handle and sweep all over…and keep squeezing until nothing more is coming out. Okay? Are you ready?”
As an answer to that, Daniel pulled the pin and pressed down the handle but the shock of the smoke that puffed out made him let go.
“That’s not what I said you should do,” Sherlock said as he swallowed a chuckle, “Do it again.”
Daniel looked very determined when he lifted the small hose again and aimed it at the fire – not the base maybe, but Sherlock let it go – and squeezed the handle. A cloud of white-yellowish smoke shot out and Daniel happily spread it everywhere. It might not have been the most efficient way to do it, but it put the fire out and at least he knew how it worked now.
“Did you see dad?” Daniel was two seconds away from jumping up and down, clapping his hands.
“I saw that. You’re like a real fire-fighter, ” Sherlock smiled and looked at the mess they had made. They should go inside before anyone saw them. “Come, let’s go and buy some gummi bears and I’ll show you how to make a little fireworks.”
He didn’t have to say that twice.
(The experiment)
Shave
“This is the razor,” Sherlock said, holding up a brand new three-blade-razor. Daniel gave his father a demeaning glare before pointing at the sink.
“This is the sink,” he said over explicitly, “This is the mirror. This is called a towel.”
“Point taken, sorry,” Sherlock handed Daniel the razor with a smirk, there was a special kind of affection that filled him every time Daniel called him on bullshit.
“First you should wet your face with hot water,” Sherlock said, but Daniel just kept looking at him as if he was an idiot, “It opens your pores.”
“Do you want me to do it now?” Daniel sounded doubtful.
“Yes.”
With a sigh, Daniel turned on the tap and splashed some water in his face – half of it seemed to miss his face and end up either on his chest or on the floor. Sherlock gave him an unimpressed glare.
“Tada!” Daniel said, water dripping from him.
“You think that’s a good way to do it?” Sherlock wondered before he bent over the sink and washed his face with the hot water, “I usually do this after I shower, it saves time and then you really know that you have wet it properly.”
“I don’t have time to do it in the mornings,” Daniel said and shook his head.
“You’re a reluctant little thing, aren’t you?” Sherlock smirked, “And I know for a fact you have practice four times a week so you can shave after that…. Or just skip masturbating in the shower on the mornings you need to shave.”
“Dad!” Daniel whined and looked completely tormented.
“Just be grateful you don’t have to have the ‘this is how you use a tampon’-talk with your mother.” Sherlock said matter-of-fact.
Daniel looked horrified by the mere thought and reached for the razor to show he had surrendered to the shaving lesson.
“Put that down,” Sherlock shook his head with a smile and actually took the razor from his son, “Heard of shaving cream?”
“Yes,” Daniel sighed, “Are you going to tell me all about the active ingredients anyway?”
“No, but I think you should use this one since we have the same type of skin,” Sherlock handed him a shaving cream and got a surprised sound as response, “What?”
“I always thought you used one of those brushes and gadgets and things.”
“Disappointed?”
“Relived,” Daniel admitted and removed the cap, “How much?”
“Judging by your enormous amount of facial hair I would say…not much,” Sherlock smirked and stole half of the shaving cream Daniel had put in his hand. “Then you just apply it. Circular movements. Yes something like that…and don’t forget your neck.”
Daniel giggled at the sight of the two of them with shaving cream beards in the mirror. Sherlock also smiled, but more because of the absurdity that he was teaching his son how to shave and not because it looked amusing. It felt like only yesterday he himself had learnt how to change diapers.
On a whim, Sherlock took some of the shaving cream Daniel had applied too high up on his cheek bone and dotted it on his nose instead.
“Peh!” Daniel stopped giggling and took revenge in the same manner. Sherlock smirked and didn’t bother to wipe it off. Instead he handed Daniel the razor for the second time and picked up his own.
“Ready?”
“Since, like, yesterday.”
“Don’t be cocky,” Sherlock said and placed his razor on his cheek, “Start at the top and go downwards. Never the opposite direction. Yes…like that, don’t apply too much pressure. And then oh…well…. The environmentalists – like your mother – will say that you should fill the sink with water and clean the razor, but running water works just as well. ”
Daniel smirked at the comment and Sherlock stopped his own shaving for a moment to watch Daniel’s tentative strokes. The concentration, the focus. It was endearing.
“Then take the other side,” Sherlock instructed when he could tear his eyes away and actually finish his own cheeks. “Then…now…stretch the skin on your neck with your hand like this…. And shave slowly.”
“This is a bit scary,” Daniel admitted after taking the first stroke on his neck and, even though Sherlock knew better, he had to agree, it was a bit scary to have razorblades that close to Daniel’s carotid artery.
“You have to be incredibly skilled to really harm yourself with a razor like this,” Sherlock said, putting the ridiculous thoughts out of his mind.
“I know,” Daniel said and took another stroke, “Still….”
To the surprise of no one, Sherlock finished first but soon they both just had a shaving cream moustache and goatee. It generated the same type of giggle from Daniel as the shaving cream beard had done.
“If you ever come here with a goatee I’ll disown you,” Sherlock informed with a smirk, “The same goes for tattoos.”
“Can I have a piercing?”
“Depends on where you put it,” Sherlock said after a moment of thought, “If mum agrees. So the lips and chin…. They’re the parts I think are the hardest, but you just contort your lips” – Sherlock showed by curling his lips over his teeth – “and then you just…shave. Carefully. And though there’s no excuse for nose hair, never try to get it with a razor.”
“Are you sure you and John aren’t gay for each other?” Daniel smirked. Sherlock nudged him gently in the shoulder, checking that the razor wasn’t anywhere near Daniel’s face.
“Just shave.”
Daniel had a problem obeying because it was very hard to stretch the skin around your lips when you couldn’t stop giggling. Consequently, he managed to nick himself under his bottom lip. Sherlock was just cleaning his razor for the last time and the sight of blood on Daniel’s face raised his heartbeat, but he didn’t let it show. It was ridiculous really, he had no problem with blood in general, but when it was Daniel’s blood things were just…different. Even though this was the most superficial little cut ever, not even close to when the broken Erlenmeyer had cut his upper lip open when he was seven. Still, it was blood on Daniel and Daniel should not be bleeding.
Daniel looked a bit irresolute, which made it easier for Sherlock to be resolute.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sherlock said with a smile, “Just finish, you have practically nothing left and then you wash your face and we put some paper on it.”
Daniel did as he was told. Sherlock let him wash his face and then he used one of the terry towels Daniel had pointed out in the very beginning to pat his face dry.
“Daaaaaad,” Daniel whined, but it mostly came out as laughter, and he tried to take the towel from his father. Sherlock let him win with a smile and bent down over the sink to wash his own face.
“Last step,” Sherlock said when he also had a dry face, took hold of Daniels hand and gave him some aftershave before taking some himself and putting it on his face.
“It smells like you,” Daniel said after sniffing it.
“How very peculiar,” Sherlock smirked, “You could get a different one if it’s a bit too weird for you to smell like your dad, but you should really use one. You know how dry your skin tends to become.”
“Gay, gay, gay, gay….” Daniel murmured as he too put the aftershave on, making a face when some of it came into the cut.
“Yes, you really shouldn’t cut yourself,” Sherlock shook his head and handed him a small piece of toilet paper.
“Is this like when you told me to not fall down on turf because it would burn my knees?” Daniel wanted to know as he applied the small piece of paper.
“Something very much like that,” Sherlock said with a smile, “I’m going to take a picture and send it to your mum.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes I am, be still,” Sherlock told him as he got his phone out, “Leave the paper on.”
Daniel sighed, but allowed it to happen.
“Good, one last thing,” Sherlock remembered, “No two. Two last things. Before you wash up you should make sure that you haven’t missed something…but seeing that you have approximately five straws we skipped that now. Then finally, clean the sink.”
“It’s clean,” Daniel said after glancing down at it.
“What are you talking about?” Sherlock scolded gently and pointed at the splashes of shaving cream and hairs, “Mum will strangle the both of us if you get into the habit of leaving the sink like this.”
Daniel sighed and rolled his eyes, but cleaned up without another word
“Yes, yes, you look very nice,” Sherlock assured him and Daniel blushed.
“I wasn’t-“
“Yes you were,” Sherlock teased and poked him on the shoulder. As confirmation, Daniel smiled embarrassed. “Well, all done.”
“Yeah,” Daniel gave himself a last look in the mirror and removed the paper – placing it on the newly cleaned sink, “Thanks.”
Sherlock gave him a smile in the mirror before Daniel left. With a small sigh he then tossed the bloody little paper in the toilet. Where had the time gone?
Pick a lock
“Why are we doing this?” Daniel was on his knees in front of John’s door being handed a torsion wrench by his father.
“Various reasons,” Sherlock said, dead serious, “Take the wrench.”
Daniel took the wrench and looked with suspicion at his father’s lock picking set which Sherlock closed as he too got down on his knees.
“Why do you even have that?” Daniel wondered.
“It’s work related,” Sherlock said, knowing perfectly well that it was just a half-truth.
“Is it even legal?”
“Yes, as long as you don’t carry it with the intent to do burglary,” Sherlock said while suppressing a smirk, he had told Lestrade that many times over the years.
“What other reasons are there?” Daniel asked in slight discomfort. Had there been anyone else asking these questions Sherlock would most certainly been annoyed, but since it was Daniel he was actually proud of the boy’s morals. Widely ignoring how keen Daniel had been when he had first asked if he wanted to learn how to pick a lock.
“Mostly very far-fetched ones, but intent is almost impossible to prove.” Sherlock smirked and then he added with a nod towards the door, “He’s taken my skull and I want it back.”
“Why?” Daniel didn’t sound as morally conflicted anymore, more curious into what could have made John do such a thing.
“I might have used one of his pillowcases when trying to filter bile.”
“That’s disgusting,” Daniel told him with a frown but without another word he inserted the wrench in the lock.
“You were easily persuaded all of a sudden,” Sherlock was amused and when he saw just how Daniel inserted the tool he added “And apparently a bit of a natural.”
“Shut up,” Daniel muttered low, but still he smiled, “We must free Tom, otherwise you might start to talk to me.”
“I’ve told you: that is not his name,” Sherlock said with annoyance, he had no idea what so ever why Daniel had decided to name the skull Tom.
“Whatever,” Daniel smirked the way he always did when he knew his dad didn’t keep up, “What do I do now?”
“Well that depends,” Sherlock said and opened his set again, “Do you want to use a pick, a paperclip or a hairpin?”
“A paperclip?” Daniel smiled, “Are you for real?”
“Very much so,” Sherlock said, once again failing to understand Daniel’s amusement.
“You’re like the lovechild of Marie Curie and MacGyver,” Daniel chuckled, “And then you grew up under a rock. I want the paperclip of course!”
Sherlock was almost sure that was an insult with pop cultural references, but if so, what was Marie Curie doing there? He decided to drop it and not even comment on the fact that Marie Curie had died more than 40 years before he was born. Instead he pulled out two paperclips and handed them to his son.
“Straighten both of these out,” Sherlock told him, “One of them you make a slight upward bend at the end and the other you make a few bends along the way. Like that, that’s enough. Then you’re all set. Any last minute moral issues?”
“No I’m good.”
“Splendid, let’s get started,” Sherlock got off his knees and seated himself with his back against the wall instead, turning his head so he could look at what his son was about to do, “First, feel with the wrench which way the lock turns. You’ll feel which way is the right one.”
“Left.”
“Yes, all the locks in this building open counter clockwise,” Sherlock informed, “Now take the clip with bends and stick it all the way in. No, leave the wrench still inside. Stick the clip in and then you pull out swiftly while pressing it upwards and at the same time gently turning the wrench as if you were unlocking in the door.”
Daniel did as he was told but without no visible result. Sherlock would have been very surprised if there had been one.
“If you’re lucky, that might have set some of the pins,” Sherlock told him when their eyes met for a moment, “Now you take the other clip and insert it in the lock with the spike up.”
“And the wrench should still be there?”
“Yes, all the time,” Sherlock confirmed, “Put some pressure on it and then try to feel the pins of the lock with the clip. There are five in this…and that’s the most common. Do you feel them?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“I think so too,” Sherlock nodded, “Start at the back, find the pin and push it up. You should feel a slight give when it’s in right position or you might actually hear it.”
Daniel was 100 % focused on what he did and his tongue was sticking out the corner of his mouth. Sherlock saw how Daniel’s eyes grew wide in surprise and excitement when the first pin went into place.
“Neat, isn’t it?” Sherlock smirked, “Increase the pressure on the wrench with ever pin you get in place.”
It took a good five minutes for Daniel to get all the pins and by the time he got the last one into its position the lock gave in under the pressure of the wrench and it turned. Daniel gasped with thrill.
“Fantastic!” Sherlock said and got on his feet, taking the picking set with him. “Good work.”
“That…was bloody brilliant!” Daniel still stared at the lock and pulled out both the wrench and the paperclip.
“Language,” Sherlock said and opened the door.
“We’re breaking into John’s room and you’re care about me swearing?”
“One is a skill, the other is a bad habit,” Sherlock pointed out. Daniel rolled his eyes and handed him the wrench. “Keep it, who knows when it can come in handy.”
“Tss….” Daniel shook his head, but pocketed the wrench and followed Sherlock into the room to search for the skull. Sherlock wondered if this made him a terrible father.
Tie a bowtie
“Dad!”
Frustrated beyond belief, Daniel entered the sitting-room. He was dressed in black trousers and an unbuttoned dress shirt. The braces were hanging by his sides which made the trousers slide down over his hips as he walked.
“What is this?” he demanded to know.
“A bowtie,” Sherlock answered and forced Daniel’s hand away from his face.
“I know it’s a bowtie!” Daniel almost screamed, “Why isn’t it tied?”
“What is…?” Sherlock didn’t see what made the teenager so upset, “Just tie it. You know how tie a bowtie, don’t you?”
“No!” Daniel said it as if it was the most moronic thing his father had ever said.
“But you have worn dinner jackets before,” Sherlock said confused.
“Mum always got me pre-tieds!”
“That’s ridiculous,” Sherlock stated with a huff, “You should know how to tie a bowtie…. You know how to tie a regular tie, don’t you?”
“This! This is ridiculous!” Daniel said upset and put the bowtie in his father’s face again, “I don’t have time for this!”
“Calm down,” Sherlock said and took the bowtie, “Go and get dressed and I’ll show you how to tie it after that.”
Daniel turned around and stomped out of the sitting room, slamming both the door to the sitting room and the door to Sherlock’s bedroom.
“Bit nervous, is he?” John wondered with an amused smile.
“A bit,” Sherlock looked at the closed door and smiled too.
In two hours Daniel was supposed to be at Southbank centre where he – and the rest of his orchestra – was going to perform tonight. Sherlock and Joyce had argued for about 15 minutes on the phone earlier this week about the logistics and if the time had come when they should stop renting and finally buy their son a dinner jacket. The result had been that Daniel should stay at Baker Street and Sherlock should rent a dinner jacket; in two years’ time it would probably be safe to buy one.
“Should we also get dressed?” John asked and Sherlock looked at the time on his computer.
“Yes, he’ll probably strangle us with this tie if we’re not done in time,” he got up from the desk and followed John out the sitting room.
He tapped the door to his bedroom with one knuckle.
“May I come in?”
Daniel opened the door, now properly dressed – minus the bowtie and the jacket – but looking a bit flushed.
“Did I get these right?” he asked showing his cufflinks – Sherlock’s cufflinks actually.
“Not many ways you can fail with cufflinks,” Sherlock told him with a smile and handed him the bowtie. “What do you want me to wear?”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you want me to wear?” Sherlock repeated, “Should I also wear a dinner jacket or is a suit better? I know John’ll wear his black suit and probably some hideous cartoonish tie and mum’ll probably wear that blue dress that shows off her breasts and the necklace ‘you’ gave her last Christmas.”
“Your black two-button, white shirt, the grey tie, grey pocket handkerchief,” Daniel told him in a very firm and determined way. Sherlock tried to not let the smile transform into a smirk as he started to unbutton the purple shirt he was wearing.
“Lift your collar,” he told his son as he pulled the shirt out of his trousers.
“What?”
“For the bowtie,” Sherlock clarified, “Lift your collar and go in front of the mirror, you’ll need it.”
Daniel did as told and placed himself in front of the mirror; Sherlock noticed how his posture changed completely at the sight of himself in formal dress. He should really have a talk with Joyce, the boy needed more proper clothing, not just jeans.
“Place the tie around your neck but let one end hang a little lower than the other one,” he kept on instructing while taking out the clothes he’d been ordered to wear.
“Which one?” Daniel wondered, pulling the ends back and forth.
“Doesn’t matter, you’re going to work with the long end. I use the right side.”
“It’s that enough?”
Sherlock looked over and met Daniel’s eyes in the mirror before nodding, it looked fine. They had time to do this many times, “Button your last button before you start – yes I know it’s uncomfortable. Then you cross the short end with the long end and pull it up under…no, not like that. Like if you’re tying a regular knot. ”
“Like this?” Daniel sounded doubtful but Sherlock nodded and left his trousers unbuttoned to put on his shirt.
“Unfortunately that’s the easy part,” Sherlock said and walked up to the mirror, “Make sure it’s not too tight, you won’t be able to adjust it later.”
“What’s too tight?”
“Only you can judge that, but if you can’t breathe, then it’s too tight.”
“Ha ha ha,” Daniel glared at him and he smirked back, “Now what?”
“Fold the short one over itself so it actually looks like a bow. Yes, just like that,” Sherlock kept on instructing as he closed the last button on his shirt and stuffed it down his trousers, “Now you have to keep it there the rest of the time, so change it and hold it with your left hand.”
“Couldn’t you just have taken a pre-tied?” Daniel sighed.
“Every man should be able to tie a bowtie,” Sherlock huffed, almost insulted.
“Says the man who still doesn’t get how England can play Scotland!” Daniel laughed and dropped his grip on the knot. “Damn it.”
“Language.”
“Sorry.”
“I’ll think about it,” Sherlock smirked and reached for his own tie, “Pull the long end behind the bow so it hangs right over the knot. Like that, yes. Now, and this is the hard part…. I’ll show you, keep your hands where they are.”
Sherlock stepped behind Daniel and placed his own hands on top of his. Then he guided Daniel’s right hand so he could feel the hole in front of the knot, created by the bow and the free end.
“Do you feel this?” he asked, “Do you see it?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Then we take the very top of this end and we…pull it through,” Sherlock guided Daniel’s fingers as he gave instructions and then he let go. It looked terrible at the moment, but it held up, which was good. “Now just take the front and the back, just like that, and correct it…straighten it out. There you go. All done!”
Sherlock smiled in the mirror, it looked quite alright. No one would be ashamed with wearing that knot on stage.
“That wasn’t that bad,” Daniel said, still adjusting the bow a little; probably just because he knew he could.
“We can pull it out and you can do it again,” Sherlock suggested as he tied his own tie, but got a glare through the mirror, “Don’t worry, we have time.”
Daniel ignored him – he was far too good at that – and put on the jacket instead. “How do I look?”
“Like a waiter at a very posh restaurant,” Sherlock offered, “Just kidding, you look painfully grown up.”
Daniel’s back became a bit straighter and he looked pleased, “Going to go and see if I have everything I need.”
“Do that, the car Mycroft promised to send will be here in 20 minutes,” Sherlock turned to the mirror to make sure his own tie knot was okay and heard Daniel and John exchange some words in the hallway before John popped into the room.
“And what’s wrong with my tie?” John asked.
“So many things John, so many things,” Sherlock sighed, but kept on smiling as he put on a pair of cufflinks and started to fold the handkerchief.
“You figured out the bowtie?”
“Of course,” Sherlock put on the jacket along with one of those smiles that John only ever saw when Daniel was around, “He looks quite dashing, doesn’t he?”
“Actually, he looks a lot like you,” John said with a soft nod.
“You think I look dashing?” Sherlock chuckled.
“I didn’t say that,” John smirked, “but sure, you look pretty good.”
“You look okay too,” Sherlock said with a smile and gently pushed him out the door, “but please go and change to a one-colour tie before the car gets here.”
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Date: 2011-10-26 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 06:55 am (UTC)I never found the “tampon talk” that bad, asking for my first training bra was somehow a far more embarrassing experience ;)
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Date: 2011-10-26 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 06:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 08:05 am (UTC)For some reason this made me crack up:
“How do I look?”
“Like a waiter at a very posh restaurant,” Sherlock offered
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Date: 2011-10-26 08:20 am (UTC)Hehe.... I may or may not have said that to my brother after helping him into his first tie and tails. I'm still surprised he could look so elegant.
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Date: 2011-10-27 07:20 am (UTC)Most of them looked so smart but some a bit like penguins XD
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Date: 2011-10-27 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-27 07:25 am (UTC)And yes, what would we do about the interent? Four of these five scenes are more or less brought to you by Howcast on Youtube ;)