The butler did it!
Sep. 21st, 2011 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
solrosanNote: Written for this prompt at the kink meme during a lecture in production economy (in my defense, it was not my class, it was my friend's), therefore I take no responsibility for the spelling or the grammar. Production economy can be a bit distracting and interesting really.
Summary: Well, the butler did it.
***
“You have three minutes,” Lestrade told him, blocking the doorway with his arm.
“Five,” Sherlock said, dead serious.
“This is not a negotiation Sherlock.”
“I can just leave.”
“Fine, five minutes,” Lestrade sighed, giving up and removing the arm. Sherlock smirked, he couldn’t imagine needing five minutes, but Lestrade had to be reminded that he needed him from time to time.
Sherlock looked at the dead man lying face-down in the corner of the dining room of the small mansion. High-profile murder, that’s why Sherlock had been brought in so early in the investigation. So far nothing had seemed suspicions and with great disappointment Sherlock got up from the body after just two minutes.
Not even Lestrade’s people would be able to mess this up if they’d just gotten a week or two to work on it. He was not going to tell them that.
“So?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Sherlock stated turning to Lestrade and John who stood there, waiting; the first one with slight embarrassment and irritation, the latter one with anticipation. “The butler did it!”
Lestrade tried to swallow a laugh – why did people even bother to do that around him? – and a very amused smile crept over John’s face.
“Are you sure?” Lestrade wondered, still suppressing a smile but trying to stay professional.
“Yes, the butler did it,” Sherlock said again, a bit annoyed over the reaction, and the other two men giggled more audible, “and this isn’t the primary scene.”
“No, you’re right, it was the ballroom,” Lestrade confirmed.
“With a candlestick,” Sherlock offered and for some reason Lestrade and John burst into laughter.
“The butler did it? In the ballroom with the candlestick?” John wondered through his chuckles.
“Yes,” Sherlock answered bewildered.
“No….That’s just not possible….” Lestrade shook his head, still laughing.
“Well he does have a red shirt,” John pointed out.
“You’re right!” Lestrade sounded like he hadn’t notice this until now, “Poor sod didn’t have a chance.”
“Well, we’re not in Kansas anymore….” John dried his eyes and tried to control his laughter.
“We’ve never been in Kansas John,” Sherlock said, wanting to sound irritated but just managed confused, “We’re just outside London.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Lestrade fumbled with something in his coat pocket – none of the giggling men even taking notice of Sherlock – picking up a pair of sunglasses.
“Nooooo!” John burst into another laugh.
“Yes John….It looks like we have,” Lestrade paused and put the sunglasses on, trying very hard to look stern, but he failed and just ended with, “to go and tell Donovan, she’s never going to believe this.”
“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!” John exclaimed and both of the laughed again.
“John!” Sherlock actually felt upset now, “You were the one saying we couldn’t giggle at a crime scene!”
“I know Sherlock,” John did a failed attempted to stop giggling as they walked out from the crime scene to see if they could find Donovan, “I’ll explain when we get home.”
Summary: Well, the butler did it.
***
“You have three minutes,” Lestrade told him, blocking the doorway with his arm.
“Five,” Sherlock said, dead serious.
“This is not a negotiation Sherlock.”
“I can just leave.”
“Fine, five minutes,” Lestrade sighed, giving up and removing the arm. Sherlock smirked, he couldn’t imagine needing five minutes, but Lestrade had to be reminded that he needed him from time to time.
Sherlock looked at the dead man lying face-down in the corner of the dining room of the small mansion. High-profile murder, that’s why Sherlock had been brought in so early in the investigation. So far nothing had seemed suspicions and with great disappointment Sherlock got up from the body after just two minutes.
Not even Lestrade’s people would be able to mess this up if they’d just gotten a week or two to work on it. He was not going to tell them that.
“So?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Sherlock stated turning to Lestrade and John who stood there, waiting; the first one with slight embarrassment and irritation, the latter one with anticipation. “The butler did it!”
Lestrade tried to swallow a laugh – why did people even bother to do that around him? – and a very amused smile crept over John’s face.
“Are you sure?” Lestrade wondered, still suppressing a smile but trying to stay professional.
“Yes, the butler did it,” Sherlock said again, a bit annoyed over the reaction, and the other two men giggled more audible, “and this isn’t the primary scene.”
“No, you’re right, it was the ballroom,” Lestrade confirmed.
“With a candlestick,” Sherlock offered and for some reason Lestrade and John burst into laughter.
“The butler did it? In the ballroom with the candlestick?” John wondered through his chuckles.
“Yes,” Sherlock answered bewildered.
“No….That’s just not possible….” Lestrade shook his head, still laughing.
“Well he does have a red shirt,” John pointed out.
“You’re right!” Lestrade sounded like he hadn’t notice this until now, “Poor sod didn’t have a chance.”
“Well, we’re not in Kansas anymore….” John dried his eyes and tried to control his laughter.
“We’ve never been in Kansas John,” Sherlock said, wanting to sound irritated but just managed confused, “We’re just outside London.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Lestrade fumbled with something in his coat pocket – none of the giggling men even taking notice of Sherlock – picking up a pair of sunglasses.
“Nooooo!” John burst into another laugh.
“Yes John….It looks like we have,” Lestrade paused and put the sunglasses on, trying very hard to look stern, but he failed and just ended with, “to go and tell Donovan, she’s never going to believe this.”
“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!” John exclaimed and both of the laughed again.
“John!” Sherlock actually felt upset now, “You were the one saying we couldn’t giggle at a crime scene!”
“I know Sherlock,” John did a failed attempted to stop giggling as they walked out from the crime scene to see if they could find Donovan, “I’ll explain when we get home.”
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Date: 2011-09-21 10:22 am (UTC)(I don't know if you're familiar with NCIS, but the whole thing reminds me of Ziva :) )
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Date: 2011-09-21 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-09-21 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 01:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 02:44 pm (UTC)I just tried to get some other overused clichés and memes in there, would be a pity to not take advantage of the fact that the butler did indeed, do it. :) Does anyone know where that comes from though?
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Date: 2011-09-22 09:59 am (UTC)I'd always wondered on the origins of the butler myself, and the best answer that I've heard is this:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2470/in-whodunits-its-the-butler-did-it-who-did-it-first
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Date: 2011-09-22 11:53 am (UTC)And yes please keep the coffee away from the computer ;) Have heard it's not a great combo...
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Date: 2011-09-21 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-22 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 08:37 pm (UTC)“Five,” Sherlock said, dead serious.
“This is not a negotiation Sherlock.”
“I can just leave.”
- THAT... is Sherlock Holmes. Great story!
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Date: 2011-09-21 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 09:38 pm (UTC)*giggling like mad*
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Date: 2011-09-22 06:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-21 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-22 06:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-02 03:48 pm (UTC)solrosan, great fic :D
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Date: 2011-09-22 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-22 06:48 am (UTC)